deeply_sinister

I had enough. I had enough of people thinking that i am some sort of a clown.

It had been like ages. A good couple of years back. But truthfully, i get all nauseous whenever i got reminded of my jc days. That shit still traumatize me.

Some people, uptil today, still cant keep their mouths shut.

Actually a lot things happened in my family that i just dont know where to start. I am really exhausted. Really exhausted. And the recent developments....

Actually i wanted to tell you a lot of things. Everything. Every single excruciating details. From A to Z. From beginning to end.

I wanted to tell you how much i missed my grandfather..

I wanted to tell you how he motioned me to hug him hours before he passed away...

I wanted to tell you how late we were in the receipt of the letter that he wrote, saying he would pass away at 8 pm on Friday night., Hari Raya Haji. The letter was written 4 days before he passed away....

I wanted to tell you how regretful i felt when in the afternoon he had actually requested via sign language for a pen and paper because he could no longer speak but we did not do so...

I wanted to tell you how i wished i had provided the pen and paper coz at the very least, I would be in the know and be by his side when he took his last breath....

I wanted to tell you how cruel my father was for bringing up the past on the same day when my mother was obviously grieving for the loss of her father...

I wanted to tell you how painful it was just standing by and watching...

I wanted to tell you everything.....

But i know you're not the type to listen to such narrations....maybe ure never a serious person, or try to be one for once...looking at how hastily the topic was directed towards something else...looking at how everything can somehow turn into a joke. I just wanted to tell you that what u just need to do is to just listen......but of course....Maybe its not your fault coz you're so lucky. Maybe...

But ill just write it here .....in the memory of my loving grandfather.

You'll never be forgotten...